I feels like yesterday since we lost you but at the same time far too long since we've seen you. The pain has remained the same, it's still raw and scratchy. It feels like I've blinked and suddenly it's been six months, it's the longest I've ever not seen you for and it hurts to know it's only ever going to be longer. I keep thinking why this had to happen to us, which I'm sure most people think, I tell myself to be grateful for the time we did have, but it doesn't make it hurt any less, I go to places where you used to be but it's not the same, they're empty and cold, places that were once warm and familiar I now feel like a stranger in. It all just sucks, the grief and sorrow chews at me, I keep it at bay mostly but when I'm left by myself and I get a second of silence to remember everything that's happened I sob. I wonder where you are, I feel lost without you on a daily basis, I beg and look for signs of you. It's so hard to come to terms with the fact I'll never see you again, I'm so sorry this happened to you, I tried everything to keep you with us but I failed, I miss you so much dad, you'll never know.